So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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