I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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