we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
