its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish they made helmets for livers.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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