Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
