I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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