All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
