well I can't set my house on fire every night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
