Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize