Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
