I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
