the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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