Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
