I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
