you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
