Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
