Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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