Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
