but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
