you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
