eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
