my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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