We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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