We're facebook friends in real life
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize