i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize