Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
