Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize