just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
