After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
