How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
false alarm. still invincible.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
