Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
