if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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