lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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