I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
A bitchslap is in order.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
