if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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