my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize