Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
NoShamevember. You game?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
