I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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