If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize