Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
