I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
