Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
