Will you blow on my dice?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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