Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
