so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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