Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
