he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
