In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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