Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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