Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize