the condom got lost in my hair
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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