scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Holy sore nipples Batman
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
