I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i want to swaddle you in tequila
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
