Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
