I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize