I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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