Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize
