butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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