Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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