Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
