Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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